Any Australian worth their salt has been to some sort of alcoholic beverage expo, so when you're an Australian headed to a beer expo, propels expect a lot from you. Here's how to smash beers in the Australian way in a Boston beer expo.
1. Get there early.
The line is attrousious for these things (I think it's got something to do with all the Irish) so you'll want to be there early. Bout half an hour is good.
2. Go straight for the strongest beer at each taste.
They always tell you the strongest one, so go for it. It'll usually be a stout or an IPA. and if you are with some one that thinks they should only drink light drinks, tell them to drink IPAs. It'll be a good time for everyone.
3. Once you've got your drink, go straight for the next line.
No talking, no drinking, just move.
4. Do try and chat up/be a good bloke/sheila to the person pouring your drink.
It usually means you get more. If they aren't a right tool.
5. If you hear someone shout "Aye" you better do it too.
Why not? You're drunk, you want to belong. Better yet, start yelling "Aye" for no reason yourself.
6. If you're a guy, wear a full body condom. If you're a girl, you're in luck!!
These things are basically sausage fests, which is expected since men drink beer, and women drink wine. That's just how it goes.
7. For people paying attention to the above, don't let the drinks affect your standards.
Enuff said.
8. Always, always go to the late session.
There is nothing uglier than the afternoon hangover. Seriously, a Saturday afternoon hangover takes your weekend from sweet to s**thouse in about 5 seconds.
9. Have a ready to go time and meeting point.
You WILL get lost in the sea of beers and sweaty men. It will happen. And you'll be drunk. So just believe me when I say you won't be able to see past your drunken haze or the BO odor you swear you can see rising out of that fat blokes pits.
10. Make sure you go to a seafood place and get lots of deep friend food after.
Your stomach will love you for it.
Hope that helps you survive your next beer expo. Make sure you try to remember your favorite beer!
